Why I Can’t Talk to My Girlfriend About Comics, Part Three

My girlfriend and I both have our own stuff. Couples often do. Because she’s has yard sales and I…collect comics, when we talk about the need to pair down stuff, my stuff comes up more. Because I have a lot of bad comics I want to lose, I don’t mind. It makes me glad I don’t collect the big books as much as I used to. The Alan Moore hardcovers I really wanted came and went years ago. I’ve paired back considerably on superhero comic runs in general. Which is why I can walk away from…

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I found this on the shelf of Newbury Comics. Is the plastic sheen (take that casual readers!) obstructing your view too much? It’s the first collection of DC: The New 52. Here’s more of a side view.

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Pretty big, huh? That’s because it’s the first issue of each of the 52 titles in one bound package. I was asking who would want this even before I looked at the cover price.

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You read that right. That’s $150. Thankfully, I came across this by myself. The imaginary conversation between myself and her would not have gone well:

Chad?

Yes.

What is this?

It’s a collection of the first issues of DC Comics…

You mean the first issues from decades ago?

No, the first issues from six months ago.

Really.

Yeah.

So each first issue has a complete story?

Not even.

Really.

Yep.

So who would want this? Besides Dan Didio and Jim Lee for their Den tables?

People who want don’t want to be embarrassed.

Embarrassed?

Yes. From buying the single issue of the comic with these images.

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These were actually in a comic?

Yes.

Chad?

Hm?

How were you able to find these pages in the book so quickly?

I looked at where the plastic wrapping was torn.

Ah.

That and finger grease.

Want some hand sanitizer?

Thanks!

Say, are you gathering comics for my next yard sale?

Soon.


Note: The editors of WGI would like to apologize for insinuating that anyone besides comics fans would even know who Dan Didio or Jim Lee are. We’ll tell Chad to reign it in next time.

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About Chad Parenteau

I'm a poet. I run the Stone Soup Poetry series in Cambridge that runs every Monday night. I review comics in my spare time.
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